Depression

Story Subject To Change, I Hope

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I heard about project semicolon a long time ago when I was given a wristband. The general idea was explained by someone who also experienced mental illness. My friend didn’t have much more information to share, but I wore that wristband every day until it fell off. The idea meant something to me. I needed some kind of reminder.

I had looked for the project online some years ago, but I guess it was being updated, I found an under construction notice, I think.

I am introverted. Telling anything on a site I just found isn’t something I think I can do easily or right away, but this is a first step.

My healthcare providers do what they can. I’m lucky to have them. I am not sure if they can help more than they have. They keep having their hands tied by funding problems and so many people needing help from a small staff. I know at least one of the workers there is having a hard time because they blurted it out. I thought things must really be bad when the professional is talking to the patient. We’re all human, we all have hard times. Maybe I even helped by listening. I hope so.

I think I really need an online support group because I am isolated geographically. I have no idea what kind of story belongs here. I have a couple diagnosed mental illnesses and I have fought them all my life. It’s not a fun or inspiring story and I don’t have special effects to make this more interesting.

The middle of the story is just this: my life is spent fighting a monster and it hasn’t won.

None of the friends I had in the in-person group I was sort of connected to are alive anymore. They didn’t all kill themselves, some fought cancer and lost. They were kind people who were willing to reach out to me. They understood. I can’t wish them alive again, and I don’t know how to make that kind of friend; every single one of them found me.

This is an attempt to reach out. To find people out there. People who understand that faking a smile and nodding doesn’t cut it for deep-seated depression or other illnesses. That playing a cheerful little tune and “looking on the bright side” isn’t a cure-all for genetic disease or a lifetime so full of fighting to stay alive that there was very little energy left to live that life.

I would list more under my mental illness selection, but the site or my brain is not cooperating. It’s not depression alone that I battle, but I guess that’s a start as introductions go.

I hope to update this story once I figure out how this organization works. I hope this story has more chapters, and that they hold something good.

 

Thank Maury for sharing this story below.

Story Subject To Change, I Hope

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Depression

Story Subject To Change, I Hope

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