People don’t necessarily want to end their lives, but want to end the pain they are currently experiencing, so if you can help them to find another way to solve their problems, they would choose to live. Suicide is often related to untreated or under-treated mental health issues, such as depression, which is treatable.

While you might not be able to think of solutions to your problems other than suicide, there are other answers. It is likely that you just cannot see them right now. A counselor, or sometimes a friend, can help you to see solutions and problem-solve without having to harm yourself.

Although it might seem as if your unhappiness will never end, it is important to realize that crises are usually time-limited. Solutions are found, feelings change, unexpected positive events occur that change your outlook. Suicide is sometimes referred to as “a permanent solution to a temporary problem.” Don’t let suicide rob you of better times that will come your way when you allow more time to pass and for situations to change. There are an untold number of people who suffered feelings of despair and thoughts of suicide but made it through to a long and fulfilling life. You can be one of these people.

Job loss, financial problems, loss of important people in our lives — all such stressful events can seem catastrophic at the time they are happening. Then, months or years later, they are things of the past. If you imagine yourself five years down the road you may see that a problem that currently seems catastrophic will pass.

You may be able to strengthen your connection with life if you consider what has given your life meaning or what is important to you. Family ties, your religion, love of art or nature, and dreams for the future are just a few of the many aspects of life that provide meaning and gratification, but which we can lose sight of due to emotional distress. You may need help to explore and reconnect to your reasons for living as well as successfully working through reasons you have been thinking about dying.

Many people are unable to see alternatives to their problems or an end to their pain. Many who consider dying by suicide still want to live: your friend may have mixed feelings about turning thoughts of suicide into a suicide attempt. By recognizing risk and getting him or her to help, a life can be saved.

Your friend may hint or joke about suicide, but it is important to take all communications about suicide seriously. It is safe to ask directly, “Are you thinking about killing yourself?” Talking about suicide does not cause suicide. If you have difficulty asking your friend about his or her thoughts, enlist an adult to help you. Or call Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 and the trained counselors there will help.

Someone can help you help your friend: ask an adult for help or get help from people and organizations that specialize in crisis intervention, mental health, or suicide prevention. Think about the adults in your life who could help: teachers, clergy, doctors, coaches, counselors, and others. Or call Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 and they will find someone local to help you help your friend.

Rather than promising your friend to keep secrets, tell him or her you can help, but that you need to involve other people.

Show your interest and support without judgment. Don’t interrupt, and don’t give advice. Express concern and tell your friend that together you can make a difference.

Don’t leave a suicidal friend alone. Go with him or her to a mental health professional, hospital emergency room, or primary care physician. Or help him or her to call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

If there are firearms, drugs, or other means of suicide in his or her home, try to remove access to them until the crisis has passed. This might mean leaving the situation where there are means accessible or trying to make inaccessible anything that might be used by your friend in an impulsive moment.

Helping a suicidal friend is stressful. Make sure you get support: talk to a friend or other caring person and get good food, rest, exercise, and whatever else you need.

Friends sometimes let friends know if they are thinking about suicide or dying. Other times, they don’t say anything, but their behavior communicates that they are struggling emotionally. Any of the warning signs should prompt you to express concern, ask about suicidal thoughts and plans, and help your friend get help.